Wise Friends Guidelines & Resources

The Recovery Dharma YYC Practice Committee, along with long standing members of the sangha, have developed some guidelines that may be useful to reference while connecting with wise friends. 


 

ETIQUETTE:

  • It is helpful but not necessary to get together for coffee the first time you meet. This is a good way to get to know each other and begin to see if this will be the right fit.  
  • Come up with a general timeline together (meetings, meditations, emails with instructions, etc). 
  • Explain generally what each e-mail will consist of. 
  • Start a meditation practice right away with a text check-in. 
  • If it feels right, have them do a voicemail check-in each night. 
  • This is their journey, slow down, speed up, add things in that will support them where they are at. 
  • You should not feel like you are doing more work than they are. 
  • Set clear boundaries (eg: no middle of the night calls, I am not a counsellor, etc.) 
  • Set clear expectations (eg: commit to the work on the timeline agreed upon, daily mediation practice, etc.) 
  • Everyone is different and will have a different mentoring style. Knowing your own and the other options helps to assess who the best match may be. 
  • Keep it focused on the practice and recovery. 
  • Encourage outside support and therapy. 
  • Insight Timer is a great, free mediation app.  
  • They are responsible for their own relationships with Sangha members. As a wise friend we do not get involved unless the health and safety of the group is being affected. 
  • Ensure there is a serious attempt at abstinence from all substances and that they are actively working on  identified process addictions.  

EXAMPLE WEEKLY WISE FRIEND PRACTICE PROGRAM:

WISE FRIEND MEDITATION RESOURCES:

Stage 1 The First Foundation of Mindfulness (Breath and Body): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl1U9uYEac

https://insig.ht/1XlQbwp780

Podcasts: 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/first-foundation-mindfulness

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-four-foundations-of-mindfulness

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-2/amp/

https://www.learnreligions.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-450066

https://oneminddharma.com/four-foundations-mindfulness/

Stage 2 The Second Foundation of Mindfulness (Feeling Tone): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HTVXgB6CzwQ

https://insig.ht/LMrSOeWMo1

Podcasts

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rmtcEamJzxM

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-second-foundation-of-mindfulness-feelings/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-feeling (talk and sit) 

Articles

https://imhouston.wordpress.com/dharma-talks/ginger-clarkson/2015-2/second-foundation-of-mindfulness/

Stage 3 The Third Foundation of Mindfulness (Mind):  

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LMGNaHjkfAU

https://insig.ht/MMrZiDE880

Podcasts: 

https://www.rickhanson.net/third-foundation-mindfulness/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-mental-states (talk and sit) 

Articles: 

http://bozemaninsightcommunity.com/third-foundation-of-mindfulness-mindfulness-of-consciousnessmind/

Stage 4 The Fourth Foundation of Mindfulness (Truth or Phenomena): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvjk6BQ-nwY

https://insig.ht/Rn3Lij7Ko1

https://www.worldwideinsight.org/stephen-fulder-28-10-2018/ (meditation starts 4mins in) 

Podcasts: 

https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/153/talk/31109/

https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-phenomena (talk and sit) 

Articles: 

https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/the-fourth-foundation-of-mindfulness-2/

Stage 5 Loving Kindness (Metta): 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/Ro75nAgLo1

https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-loving-kindness/

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UsiDeq_sA

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=02sXBi0Sp7A (the divine abodes) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Br3yxCs623U

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-metta-january-2014/amp/

https://oneminddharma.com/brahma-viharas/ (the 4 heart practices) 

Stage 6 Compassion (Karuna): 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mYk-MldGDWA (self compassion) 

https://insig.ht/KZ9tSNlMo1

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MaQCUPLpIGw

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JWcwia-B7V8

https://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-compassion-audio/

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/self-compassion/

https://jackkornfield.com/cultivating-compassion/

Stage 7 Appreciative Joy (Mudita): 

Meditations

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmAwqDz784

https://insig.ht/PksXyS5Mo1

Podcasts: 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/sympathetic-joy-mudita

http://sfzc.org/mudita

Articles: 

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/various/wheel170.html

Stage 8 Equanimity (Upekkha):  

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2i_BU-PAVZs

https://insig.ht/NcSU1lMNo1

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uhba13cEOMY (the 4 heart practices to yourself) 

Podcasts

https://www.tarabrach.com/equanimity-duck-meditation/

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/power-equanimity

Articles

https://tricycle.org/magazine/perfect-balance/

Stage 9 Wise Understanding and the Hindrances: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/KRxLzvsPo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000424531458 (first fold) 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000445984579 (the hindrances) 

Articles: 

https://www.learnreligions.com/working-with-the-five-hindrances-449924

https://ottawamindfulnessclinic.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/fivehindrances.pdf (excellent handout to refer back to) 

Stage 10 Wise Intention and Forgiveness: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/jrDwOBlPo1

https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-guided-heart-forgiveness/

https://insig.ht/qmycjpRPo1

Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000425304502 (2nd fold) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/forgiveness-releasing-blame-pt1/

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/the-practice-of-forgiveness/

Stage 11 Wise Speech and gratitude: 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_g18YA2EjWQ

https://insig.ht/YO8UItYPo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000426002010 (3rd fold) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/feeling-gratitude-giving-love/

Articles:  

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/gratitude-daily-life

Stage 12 Wise Action and Addiction: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/EoMx0LESo1 (contemplations of morality by Josh Korda) 

https://insig.ht/PxTz5sWSo1

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000426692504 (4th fold) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eKn4IGY8OH8 (hungry ghosts) 

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/addressing-the-underlying-causes-of-addiction-josh-korda-with-dr-stephen-dansiger/ (underlying causes of addiction) 

Articles: 

https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/what-feels-right-about-right-action/

Stage 13 Wise Livelihood and Shame: 

Meditations: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wm1t5FyK5Ek (RAIN meditation) 

https://insig.ht/AIWqGUtRo1 (Sarah Blondin) 

https://insig.ht/u7JqFnzRo1 (self compassion) 

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxfmarLIBo0 (RAIN of self compassion) 

https://insig.ht/OnvuJnpRo1 (healing core shame by Josh Korda) 

Articles: 

https://oneminddharma.com/livelihood/ (right livelihood) 

https://www.tarabrach.com/articles-interviews/inquiring-trance/

Stage 14 Wise Effort and Letting Go: 

Meditations: 

https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-letting-go-letting-be/

https://insig.ht/SBMHk5pQo1

Podcasts 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000427423687 (6th fold) 

http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/letting-go

Articles

https://www.learnreligions.com/letting-it-go-4000630

Stage 15 Wise Mindfulness and The 4 Great Efforts: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/U2rUzvwTo1 (Vipassana) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WW6j5ZvuWx8

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000428822317 (7th fold) 

https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/836/talk/52097/ (4 great efforts) 

Articles: 

https://www.imsb.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/FourRightEfforts.pdf (Great handout) 

Stage 16 Wise Concentration and Anxiety: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/SNafGYpTo1 (old school concentration meditation Josh Korda) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMxkoawmrE

https://insig.ht/pybbq4EVo1 (Heal anxiety) 

Podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000429892105 (8th fold)  

https://www.tarabrach.com/part-1-healing-anxiety-how-meditation-frees-us/

Articles: 

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201306/how-does-meditation-reduce-anxiety-neural-level%3famp

Stage 17 Sangha: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/70Xuj1AUo1 (grounding)  

https://insig.ht/t1LUl2WUo1 (Compassion with equanimity) 

Podcasts: 

https://www.tarabrach.com/survival-nurtured/ (one of my favourites) 

https://insig.ht/UOVYtC3Uo1 (talk and sit Josh Korda) 

https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-dharma-of-attachment-theory-1-mindfulness-and-reparenting-oneself/ (attachment theory) 

Articles: 

https://jackkornfield.com/finding-refuge/ (2 parts) 

Stage 18 Recovery is Possible: 

Meditations: 

https://insig.ht/7UMrTHmUo1 (Sarah Blondin)  

https://insig.ht/PxTz5sWSo1 (how to transform and hard situation) 

https://insig.ht/7h88bsXVo1 (negative self talk) 

Podcasts: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8c1ex_eWs (real but not true) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J8PQjfgU8s4 (the sacred Pause) 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxXujwNSnYg (impermanence) 

Articles: 

http://www.whiterobedmonks.org/mstages.html (stages of monastic life)