The Recovery Dharma YYC Practice Committee, along with long standing members of the sangha, have developed some guidelines that may be useful to reference while connecting with wise friends.
ETIQUETTE:
- It is helpful but not necessary to get together for coffee the first time you meet. This is a good way to get to know each other and begin to see if this will be the right fit.
- Come up with a general timeline together (meetings, meditations, emails with instructions, etc).
- Explain generally what each e-mail will consist of.
- Start a meditation practice right away with a text check-in.
- If it feels right, have them do a voicemail check-in each night.
- This is their journey, slow down, speed up, add things in that will support them where they are at.
- You should not feel like you are doing more work than they are.
- Set clear boundaries (eg: no middle of the night calls, I am not a counsellor, etc.)
- Set clear expectations (eg: commit to the work on the timeline agreed upon, daily mediation practice, etc.)
- Everyone is different and will have a different mentoring style. Knowing your own and the other options helps to assess who the best match may be.
- Keep it focused on the practice and recovery.
- Encourage outside support and therapy.
- Insight Timer is a great, free mediation app.
- They are responsible for their own relationships with Sangha members. As a wise friend we do not get involved unless the health and safety of the group is being affected.
- Ensure there is a serious attempt at abstinence from all substances and that they are actively working on identified process addictions.
EXAMPLE WEEKLY WISE FRIEND PRACTICE PROGRAM:
WISE FRIEND MEDITATION RESOURCES:
Stage 1 The First Foundation of Mindfulness (Breath and Body):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl1U9uYEac
Podcasts:
http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/first-foundation-mindfulness
https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-four-foundations-of-mindfulness
Articles:
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-2/amp/
https://www.learnreligions.com/the-four-foundations-of-mindfulness-450066
https://oneminddharma.com/four-foundations-mindfulness/
Stage 2 The Second Foundation of Mindfulness (Feeling Tone):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HTVXgB6CzwQ
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rmtcEamJzxM
https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-second-foundation-of-mindfulness-feelings/
https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-feeling (talk and sit)
Articles:
Stage 3 The Third Foundation of Mindfulness (Mind):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LMGNaHjkfAU
Podcasts:
https://www.rickhanson.net/third-foundation-mindfulness/
https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-mental-states (talk and sit)
Articles:
http://bozemaninsightcommunity.com/third-foundation-of-mindfulness-mindfulness-of-consciousnessmind/
Stage 4 The Fourth Foundation of Mindfulness (Truth or Phenomena):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kvjk6BQ-nwY
https://www.worldwideinsight.org/stephen-fulder-28-10-2018/ (meditation starts 4mins in)
Podcasts:
https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/153/talk/31109/
https://refugerecovery.simplecast.com/episodes/talk-sit-mindfulness-of-phenomena (talk and sit)
Articles:
https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/the-fourth-foundation-of-mindfulness-2/
Stage 5 Loving Kindness (Metta):
Meditations:
https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-loving-kindness/
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UsiDeq_sA
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=02sXBi0Sp7A (the divine abodes)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Br3yxCs623U
Articles:
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-metta-january-2014/amp/
https://oneminddharma.com/brahma-viharas/ (the 4 heart practices)
Stage 6 Compassion (Karuna):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mYk-MldGDWA (self compassion)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MaQCUPLpIGw
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JWcwia-B7V8
https://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-compassion-audio/
Articles:
https://jackkornfield.com/self-compassion/
https://jackkornfield.com/cultivating-compassion/
Stage 7 Appreciative Joy (Mudita):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmAwqDz784
Podcasts:
http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/sympathetic-joy-mudita
Articles:
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/various/wheel170.html
Stage 8 Equanimity (Upekkha):
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2i_BU-PAVZs
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uhba13cEOMY (the 4 heart practices to yourself)
Podcasts:
https://www.tarabrach.com/equanimity-duck-meditation/
http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/power-equanimity
Articles:
https://tricycle.org/magazine/perfect-balance/
Stage 9 Wise Understanding and the Hindrances:
Meditations:
Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000424531458 (first fold)
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/undefended-dharma-with-mary-stancavage/id1441003615?i=1000445984579 (the hindrances)
Articles:
https://www.learnreligions.com/working-with-the-five-hindrances-449924
https://ottawamindfulnessclinic.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/fivehindrances.pdf (excellent handout to refer back to)
Stage 10 Wise Intention and Forgiveness:
Meditations:
https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-guided-heart-forgiveness/
Podcasts:
https://www.tarabrach.com/forgiveness-releasing-blame-pt1/
Articles:
https://jackkornfield.com/the-practice-of-forgiveness/
Stage 11 Wise Speech and gratitude:
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_g18YA2EjWQ
Podcasts:
https://www.tarabrach.com/feeling-gratitude-giving-love/
Articles:
http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/gratitude-daily-life
Stage 12 Wise Action and Addiction:
Meditations:
https://insig.ht/EoMx0LESo1 (contemplations of morality by Josh Korda)
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eKn4IGY8OH8 (hungry ghosts)
https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/addressing-the-underlying-causes-of-addiction-josh-korda-with-dr-stephen-dansiger/ (underlying causes of addiction)
Articles:
https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/what-feels-right-about-right-action/
Stage 13 Wise Livelihood and Shame:
Meditations:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wm1t5FyK5Ek (RAIN meditation)
https://insig.ht/AIWqGUtRo1 (Sarah Blondin)
https://insig.ht/u7JqFnzRo1 (self compassion)
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxfmarLIBo0 (RAIN of self compassion)
https://insig.ht/OnvuJnpRo1 (healing core shame by Josh Korda)
Articles:
https://oneminddharma.com/livelihood/ (right livelihood)
https://www.tarabrach.com/articles-interviews/inquiring-trance/
Stage 14 Wise Effort and Letting Go:
Meditations:
https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-letting-go-letting-be/
Podcasts
http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/talks/letting-go
Articles:
https://www.learnreligions.com/letting-it-go-4000630
Stage 15 Wise Mindfulness and The 4 Great Efforts:
Meditations:
https://insig.ht/U2rUzvwTo1 (Vipassana)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WW6j5ZvuWx8
Podcasts:
https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/836/talk/52097/ (4 great efforts)
Articles:
https://www.imsb.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/FourRightEfforts.pdf (Great handout)
Stage 16 Wise Concentration and Anxiety:
Meditations:
https://insig.ht/SNafGYpTo1 (old school concentration meditation Josh Korda)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMxkoawmrE
https://insig.ht/pybbq4EVo1 (Heal anxiety)
Podcasts:
https://www.tarabrach.com/part-1-healing-anxiety-how-meditation-frees-us/
Articles:
Stage 17 Sangha:
Meditations:
https://insig.ht/70Xuj1AUo1 (grounding)
https://insig.ht/t1LUl2WUo1 (Compassion with equanimity)
Podcasts:
https://www.tarabrach.com/survival-nurtured/ (one of my favourites)
https://insig.ht/UOVYtC3Uo1 (talk and sit Josh Korda)
https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/mobile/e/the-dharma-of-attachment-theory-1-mindfulness-and-reparenting-oneself/ (attachment theory)
Articles:
https://jackkornfield.com/finding-refuge/ (2 parts)
Stage 18 Recovery is Possible:
Meditations:
https://insig.ht/7UMrTHmUo1 (Sarah Blondin)
https://insig.ht/PxTz5sWSo1 (how to transform and hard situation)
https://insig.ht/7h88bsXVo1 (negative self talk)
Podcasts:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8c1ex_eWs (real but not true)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J8PQjfgU8s4 (the sacred Pause)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxXujwNSnYg (impermanence)
Articles:
http://www.whiterobedmonks.org/mstages.html (stages of monastic life)
Recovery Dharma YYC 